Blog
Wonderful Memories
Posted by Shaylee on August 30, 2010 at 12:28 pm
Nancy Miller, President Emeritus of Christian Homes & Family Services is retiring this fall after 40 years of incredible work for this ministry. We asked her to share a few thoughts about her retirement as she looks back over the last 40 years.
I’m not sure where to start when writing about 40 years of blessed memories. This is being written on my next to last day of working at Christian Homes & Family Services. Actually, it never seemed like work, because of the great joys that came my way almost every day.
Babies who were being placed for adoption early in my time here are now themselves the parents of teenagers. They are serving God and man in almost all walks of life: teachers, doctors, farmers, missionaries, EMTs, preachers, speech pathologists, and loving mothers and fathers. My friendships with many of their parents have also been sustained throughout these years.
Another blessing has been to see so many young women come through the maternity program, make tough, caring decisions for their babies, then continue in a positive way to face the future. What beautiful and brave young women. Their courageous, unselfish decisions have been an inspiration to all of us who have worked with them.
Having been with CHFS for so many years has given me the opportunity to have a great understanding of its tremendous outreach. As I have watched the babies and young children who have been adopted grow into adulthood, it has become evident that CHFS has far-reaching effects…not only providing couples with the children they have longed for, but in later years providing them with those wonderful grandchildren parents look forward to spoiling. One baby placed in an adoptive home might later result in two, three, or four grandchildren for those adoptive parents. And this happens because a young woman chose to come to CHFS for help in planning for her unplanned pregnancy, rather than have an abortion, or keep her child when she is ill-prepared to care for her/him.
The staff and Board members that I have been privileged to work with have truly been a great blessing. The commitment and tenure of the staff is outstanding. Whatever the need of those who come to CHFS for services, this great staff is there to provide their best. It has been a joy to work with them and the committed Board members through the years.
Much of the work of this great ministry could not be done without the support of the wonderful donors who make possible the services we provide. My thanks to all of you who provided financial help for ongoing services, building campaigns, and individual needs for some of our children and young women. Truly, this ministry could not exist without your help.
I know I will hear great things from this good work in the coming years. God continues to provide good leadership through Sherri Statler, President, and the staff. I am confident CHFS will be providing the necessary services for the next 40…80…120 years, with God’s help.
Blessings to all my dear friends,
Nancy Miller
Foster Thoughts…
Posted by Shaylee on August 23, 2010 at 7:27 am
This morning I would like you to meet Shelly, one of our newest transitional foster moms. We are thankful the Lord sent Shelly and her husband our way and I have a feeling you will be blessed by reading Shelly’s thoughts on fostering.
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As long as I can remember, I have been a baby-lover! The idea of fostering newborns first occurred to me over 15 years ago. It became a reality this past year. Our two children were grown, out of college, and both working in Dallas. For 6 years, we had become very comfortable in our empty nest. Our church began to challenge each of us to find our “mission field.” For most of my life, missions meant “doing something I really didn’t want to do, but did it anyway.” During this time, God placed people in our lives who guided us in the direction of Christian Homes & Family Services. My dream to foster newborns became a reality.
Matthew 25 talks about feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, taking care of the “least of these.” Hebrews 1:1-2 tells us “Continue to love each other with true Christian love. Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!” Hospitality simply means making other people feel comfortable and at home. If anyone is the “least of these,” it is a newborn baby who comes to us in the night, with nothing at all. Our love for others, love for strangers must run deep! Every birth mother has a story, and we need to have empathy for these courageous ladies.
In June 2009, I finally got the call! A baby boy had been born and would be coming to our home in 2 days. I was so ready, and instantly felt so much love for this little guy. He arrived at our home around 8:30 at night, and I just cried when I saw him. So many emotions hit at once…the incredible life being entrusted to us…the sacrifice that his birth mother made…his new family who didn’t know about him…how all of this was part of God’s plan for his little life…and what an incredible honor to play a part! The love I felt for him compares to the love I felt when my own babies were born. When I finally let my husband hold him, that sweet baby boy reached up and touched his face. Yes, this was definitely right! We immediately called both of our kids to describe him, and they also felt like he was part of our family. They came home as soon as they could get here, and continued to make many trips during the 10 weeks we had him. The night before he was placed with his “forever” family, we had the privilege of hosting them in our home and introducing him to members of his new family. His wonderful parents have chosen to keep in touch, have become dear friends, and we have seen them several times during the past year. We truly feel as if our family has grown to include them, and we are still in love!
Within a week of our first baby’s placement, we received a call about another baby boy. He was in NICU, and expected to be there a while. I asked if I could start visiting him in the hospital, and was given an enthusiastic “yes!” I began making trips to NICU 3-4 times a day. Although I could not hold him, I was encouraged to touch him and talk to him. When he was about 2 weeks old, I began feeding him every 3 hours in the hospital. I could not wait to get there each time! Finally, when he was 18 days old, we brought him home. Again, the gratitude was overwhelming, and the love continues to run deep! He was also with us for about 10 weeks. When we met his adoptive parents, there was an instant bond and a friendship that continues to grow. We get to see him every few months, and that is such a joy!
We had our 3rd baby, another boy, during Easter. Although we only had him 4 days, we still love him deeply! His family has spent time in our home, and they even let us babysit! They are very unselfish with him, and we are so blessed they have also chosen to keep us “in the loop.”
I cannot imagine my life without these people, and this year, Mother’s Day took on a whole new meaning. I celebrated the birth mothers, who chose life for their babies, and the adoptive mothers, who loved these babies before they even knew them! Many people have said “How can you let a baby go? Doesn’t it hurt?” That answer is “Of course, it hurts! Like crazy!” Loving deeply can hurt, but we know these babies were not “hurt” by our love for them.
Every day, I wake up hoping and wondering if we will get a call…we are always ready!
Back to School!
Posted by Steve Holt on August 16, 2010 at 7:42 am
An annual first-day-of-school ritual at our house when our boys were young was to follow them down to the bus stop at the end of our street and take pictures of them and their friends until the bus arrived. Can’t you imagine how much fun they thought that was? We stopped doing that when they started to college.
Well, it’s that time of year again. Bus stops everywhere will be atwitter with kids eager to get this summer vacation thing over with and once again hit the books. And Moms everywhere will cry their eyes out to lose the noise and companionship of their little darlings.
But children aren’t the only ones who lap up every opportunity to learn. The staff and foster parents of Christian Homes & Family Services are privileged (and may I add, required by law) to continue their education.
Our social workers must attend a certain number of hours of training in the form of seminars and workshops to maintain their licenses. According to Bob Parkhill, CHFS’s VP for Social Services, “State requirements are that caseworkers, supervisors, and foster parents have at least 20 hours of training annually. Thirty percent of that may be obtained online or through self-directed learning. The remainder must be through instructor-lead training. We get those through conferences or CEU (continuing education units) courses at universities. Occasionally, the state will provide training opportunities or require them as related to foster care. We must provide behavioral intervention training, CPR & First Aid training annually.”
Oh, but that’s not all. Special learning opportunities happen pretty regularly for all staff members. For example, Christian Homes staff from Tyler, Fort Worth and Austin joined the Abilene staff for a fun three days at Camp Mouseketeer in June. Our president, Sherri Statler, worked hard to provide a relaxed yet purposeful camp session dealing with the question, “What will it take for Christian Homes & Family Services to be the first choice in Christian adoption?” We even got to wear Mickey Mouse ears. Later this month, our staff participates in “Defensive Driving on the Digital Highway” which will cover a range of information relating to confidentiality and privacy issues. And ongoing internet training is constantly available (and required) through Netsmart University covering a wide range of topics beneficial to this agency’s mission.
So, kids aren’t the only ones lucky enough to relight the lamp of learning for another season. The staff at Christian Homes & Family Services is always engaged in learning new things and honing our skills so that we can remain the premier adoption, foster and maternity care agency in Texas and Oklahoma. And we don’t even have to ride a bus.
An Adoption Story
Posted by Janet Mendenhall on August 09, 2010 at 8:32 am
Prayer is powerful. So is a heart seeking the kingdom of God. When those two collide, God only knows what might happen. This is the story of such a collision. It is also a beautiful story of adoption.
A minister friend of mine realized one day in his quest to follow Jesus that something was lacking. Jesus was a friend of sinners; so much that he was accused of partying with the wrong crowd. My friend tried to recall the last time HE was accused of that. He immediately repented and prayed for a fuller Christ like reputation. His eyes were focused a little sharper. His ears were tuned a little finer. The gates of his heart were flung open a little wider. And it happened. New friends entered his life.
One such friend was a young woman struggling with addiction. This minister and his wife welcomed her into their lives and for a time ministered to her. Several years later, they received a call from her, now living in Arkansas. “Can you come get my baby? The sheriff is on my porch and I am going to jail.” Without hesitation, the couple left for Arkansas, knowing this would be a life-changing drive.
The baby was a one-year-old, dark-haired girl with big, brown eyes. “She came willingly to me without hesitation and immediately fell asleep. I will never forget that,” the minister’s wife said. They nourished and nurtured this little one for a year, and when her biological mother was released and seemed eager to start her life again, they returned her to her arms.
Within six months, things got rocky again for the young mother. And she knew she couldn’t care for the little one alone. The baby was again placed in the arms of the minister and his wife, this time with the promise that the mother would join them in a week. That week never came. Over the next few months the birth parents situation worsened and my friends sought legal custody and began thinking about adoption.
Having raised four sons, this couple was no stranger to the perils of parenting. The six months away from them had undone much of the teaching, structure and stability of their first year together. But raising four sons had instilled in them a dogged determination and an abundance of wisdom. That, coupled with the confidence it was God who had placed this young one in their lives, has sustained them. Those four sons, other family members and a host of friends have provided additional sustenance, eagerly welcoming this little one.
Next week, many of those family and friends will stand with Mom, Dad and little girl before the judge and hear him declare legally what many have known all along. She is theirs and she is home — forever.
This little princess is learning about kingdom life in a home where powerful prayers and hearts that seek God still regularly collide. And where God only knows what might happen.
Staff Spotlight: Becca Gonzalez
Posted by Shaylee on August 03, 2010 at 7:42 am
Today I want to tell you the story of a case worker who has worked for Christian Homes & Family Services almost 25 years.
Initially Becca made the decision to work for the agency because she needed a job but admits now that she is so thankful to work for a Christian organization helping to build families.
Through the past 25 years, Becca has found her true calling. She says, “Birth mothers have become my heart and my passion. I love working with these incredible women who make the sacrifice to separate from their child because they believe it’s best even though their hearts may be breaking. I love sharing with them the love of God since so many don’t know Him and how much He loves them. I also love helping them see what special people they are and that God has a plan and purpose for them. I believe I was placed into this agency and into this position as part of God’s plan for my life and I love it!”
Besides working with the birthmothers, one of the highlights for Becca is reuniting adult adoptees and their birth families. She loves being able to facilitate these reunions and after 25 years, those include children she helpd place. Becca says, “It is so cool to see the process come full circle and be part of it on both ends!”
Although Becca doesn’t do the studies on the adoptive families, she loves working with them at time of placement and counseling with them as needed along their adoption journey. Hand-in-hand with that, Becca shares that the most difficult part of the job is dealing with and helping the adoptive families through their grief when a birthmother decides at the last minute to parent her baby.
“My favorite part of the job is watching a birthmother come into the program as a scared, unsure and hesitant person wondering if there is “life after placement” and walking them through the process to become a sure, peaceful, confident person in regard to the decision for her child. I also love to see the children we place for adoption through events such as our bi-annual picnic and realize how blessed they are to be in such loving Christian adoptive families. God has worked mightily in this ministry! I just got a call from a 20 year-old adoptee who requested we do a search for her birthmother so that she could meet her and ‘see where she comes from.’ She thanked the agency for placing her in such a great family who she loves dearly saying, ‘God is so good.’ And He is!”
We think God is good for many reasons and one of them is certainly Becca Gonzalez and the impact she has had on the ministry of Christian Homes & Family Services. When she’s not at work, you can find Becca with her two sons, Ben, age 23 and Jake, age 20, both “born and raised” during her time with Christian Homes! We love you, Becca.
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