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Love
Posted by Shaylee on September 27, 2010 at 3:28 pm
I was 17 when I found out I was pregnant. My life was perfect: great family, wonderful boyfriend, and a good church. The first thing my mom said when I told her was pregnant was “You need to give the baby up for adoption because being a teenage single mom is not an easy job.” That night, my mom looked up the number for Christian Homes & Family Services and gave it to me. At the time, I told her that there was no way I could ever do that to my child.
Later, when I was about 7 months pregnant, my boyfriend and I were watching a talk show about adoption and we decided we should probably at least talk to someone about adoption. That is when I went to Christian Homes & Family Services and talked to Becca. My boyfriend and I picked out three families that we liked and then narrowed the families down to one. We got to meet “our” family about 2 weeks later and we fell in love with them and decided to place our daughter with them. Our adoption is open and I visit with my daughter and her mom often. We have not met face-to-face yet because I want that to be my daughter’s decision and I want her to be ready. She loves us so much and knows we loved her enough to place her.
I have never regretted our decision to place. That doesn’t mean it has always been easy. It still hurts even now 13.5 years later and it takes a lot of love to go through something like this.
Today’s guest blogger is a former birth mother with much love in her heart.
Teen Pregnancy Statistics
Posted by Shaylee on September 23, 2010 at 7:57 am
The Texas Department of State Health Services recently posted current statistics on teen pregnancy in Texas. They are interesting and heart-breaking all at the same time. Take a look here to read more about the statistics. Our work is cut out for us in terms of educating teens and young women about adoption and what a loving choice it can be for some women and their babies.
Thoughts on Narnia and Adoption
Posted by Shaylee on September 20, 2010 at 7:43 am
This week, we have a guest blogger who is also a prospective adoptive parent knee-deep in the waiting process. Read on for her sweet thoughts on Narnia, adoption and God’s purposes for us.
The Chronicles of Narnia, written by C.S. Lewis, is a favorite series around our house. Every couple of years or so, we inevitably gravitate to their spot on our bookshelf, pull one down, and read aloud to each other. One of our favorite parts of the entire story happens in Prince Caspian in a conversation between the little girl, Lucy, and the great, royal, untamed lion, Aslan. After not seeing him in a long while, Lucy has come upon Aslan in the woods unexpectedly. Here is their exchange:
“Welcome, child,” [Aslan] said.
“Aslan,” said Lucy, “you’re bigger.”
“That is because you are older, little one,” answered he.
“Not because you are?”
“I am not. But every year you grow, you will find me bigger.”
Is this not a profoundly accurate fact for those of us who know—and are continuing to get to know—God?
My husband, Steve, and I embarked on the adoption process years ago—before we even knew it. In hindsight, we look back now and can see how the Lord was gradually unveiling His plan for us to pursue open adoption through Christian Homes & Family Services. It began with a time of disappointment which led to a timely book that invoked much research and even more prayer which then resulted in a conversation and culminated in action. One day, after listening to a sermon, we just looked at each other and said, “We’re supposed to do this.” Eventually, we were pointed to a couple who had used Christian Homes as their agency. After a long and informative phone conversation with that adoptive mother, I remember telling my husband, “If these are the kind of people who adopt, I want to be a part of that crowd!” So, we attended the Christian Homes orientation, still somewhat skeptical about open adoption; but somehow, by the time we drove the four hours back home, the Lord had done a work in our hearts. He clearly revealed to us that this grand idea of adoption was not solely to be undertaken in order to fill a place of desire in our hearts. He has a much higher purpose in this. Yes, it will be an answer to prayer and will fulfill a desire that we’ve had for many years now. However, we are to view this adoption as a ministry, to be to our child and our birthmother what God would have us be. We have room in our hearts as well as room in our home, and this is to be an act of worship and service to God.
Our journey is still in process, since we are in “the waiting period.” Although it is at times an exercise in patience and discipline, this is a good place to be. We are growing because He is preparing our hearts for what lies ahead. He is teaching us to be content where we are, to work hard at what He has given us to do for now, and to pray for the lives that are about to intersect in His own way and at His own time. Thus, we find that we are having our own “Aslan” encounters in this uncharted territory, and we can understand what Aslan is conveying to Lucy in the story. God certainly hasn’t changed through our adoption journey, but as a result of it, He is surely looking bigger in our eyes!
And POOF! I’m a granddad!!
Posted by Steve Holt on September 13, 2010 at 7:48 am
My son and grandson, trying out his new trike.
No fooling. I became a grandpa to a three-year old young man adopted by my son and daughter-in-law just a few weeks ago.
How does it feel? Well, honestly, it’s too early to tell. Of course I’m thrilled. And with good reason. From all reports, he’s a special lad—eats everything put before him, loves broccoli, talks a mile a minute, loves to cuddle, brilliant, plays well with others, doesn’t run with scissors…all the stuff we like in our grandchildren.
But the overwhelming emotions that usually hit grandpas (so I’m told) haven’t materialized. Perhaps it’s because he lives in the Northeast, and we haven’t met him face-to-face. Or because it happened all too fast. Most grandpas get to look forward, over a period of months, to having a grandchild. The months that God is forming that child, other grandpas are out buying dolls and drums, bikes and britches. For us, it was a call: “Hey Dad; you’re a grandpa!”
So, the real thrill of being a grandpa hasn’t hit me…yet.
But what has hit me is an overwhelming sense of gratitude for all the many forces that brought this adoption into being. I am thankful there are agencies that look out for the well being of children. Our grandson’s birth mother didn’t take her parenting responsibilities seriously, and so someone had to step in to protect this precious child. I’m thankful for our children’s many friends and supporters who stepped up to provide furniture, clothing, food, advice and more for these new, instant parents. I’m thankful for the maturity of my son and his special wife who realized that they have something to offer this child who might have been left by the wayside. I am grateful that they will provide a home where this child will learn about the love of God, the importance of people, and the sensitive balance of nature. I’m grateful for our granddog who has been ever so gentle with this “intrusion” into his, up to this point, singular space.
Most of all, I’m thankful to God for making provisions for those that others consider a bother, an interruption, a mistake.
Adoption is wonderful…even especially for granddads!
The Gift
Posted by Shaylee on September 07, 2010 at 7:28 am
Please meet Kaye Price-Hawkins: Christian Homes & Family Services board member, language arts consultant and friend to many in the Abilene, TX area. Kaye writes today on a special experience she had with brand new parents and their tiny baby.
Slowly, the door opened and the caseworker walked into the room. Following closely behind, a stunning couple, both dark-haired, and with eager, smiling brown eyes joined us. He placed an arm around her shoulders; she placed her hand on her mouth. Both focused on the tiny bundle wrapped in a handmade blanket. The foster mother gently slipped the sleeping infant into the young woman’s arms. The new father had not taken his arm from his wife’s shoulders, nor his eyes from this precious part of his life that days ago was only a dream. Those present witnessed a sacred moment when an invisible bond of God’s love and grace materialized before their eyes.
I couldn’t keep from thinking about the teen who gave birth to this little one and who knew in her heart that she could not provide the kind of home her child would have if allowed to leave her arms and enter into the lives and hearts of a mature couple. My prayer was for her as well as for these new parents whose lives changed so suddenly.
Even as I recall that morning in the Christian Homes living room, my eyes fill with tears. I experienced a brief glimpse into the Christian Homes & Family Services’ mission—placing fragile, marginalized babies and children into the homes of those who desire to nurture and care for children, but who weren’t able to have children of their own or those who saw a need and stepped forward to accept the gift and the challenge.
As a Board member, I have known—on paper and by testimony—the mission and the heart of Christian Homes, but not until this day when I witnessed the placement of this baby did I have the depth of understanding of what these emotional, life-changing moments were like. This experience reinvigorated my commitment to finding ways to help this ministry stay vital and filled me with thanksgiving for the opportunity to serve Christian Homes & Family Services.
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