Blog
Adoption: Chosen or Placed
Posted by Shaylee Honey on January 10, 2011 at 7:11 am
Lauren Ramirez, Abilene Christian University student, guest blogs today about adoptee and former Christian Homes & Family Services intern Erin Hanner.
Erin Hanner knows she is blessed, not ditched.
Adoption is a topic some people choose to keep quiet about or become strangely awkward when it is mentioned. For Erin Hanner, adoption is what gave her life and a family that showers her with love, safety and a place to call home.
"My parents would always tell me that I was chosen but that they were stuck with my brothers," said Hanner. "That was their way of telling me I was adopted but it took a few years for me to really understand that."
When she finally understood the act of adoption, Hanner said she experienced feelings of shock. It took some close friends and long talks for her to realize that she was truly blessed and that adoption was not a shameful thing.
After the confusion subsided, Hanner said it didn't take long for her to embrace the truth and know that her family was her own; she belonged just as much as her brothers. Hanner said she was never treated differently, favored or belittled. Her family has instilled the same values with her as they did her brothers and in her mind, that's exactly how it should be. Now, if you were to ask her brothers if she was treated differently they may say she was spoiled, but to Hanner, that's just because she's the baby and rightfully so.
Now in college in Abilene, Hanner has interned with the local adoption and foster agency, Christian Homes & Family Services. Her family has always been involved with the organization so it was the perfect fit for Hanner to gain work experience. Her parents, Mark and Jana Hanner, served on the board of directors for Christian Homes for numerous years; Jana Hanner served as president in the past.
Christian Homes & Family Services has been in Abilene for more than 40 years serving young women who are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy as well as families who are looking to foster or adopt a child. The young women are provided housing, food, medical care and especially moral support and comfort in their time of struggle.
During her internship, Hanner helped plan numerous events and assisted in keeping the shows running smoothly. Although she did not expect to work directly with the couples who were considering adoption, she always found ways to be a part of their lives. Hanner looked forward most to events where she could spend time with these couples getting to know them; talking, laughing and even sometimes crying. Hanner would then take part in praying over the soon-to-be adoptive parents and their new journey of creating a family.
Although a lot of work experience was gained, including dealing with caterers and seating charts, Hanner said she most appreciated the community and family that were built in Christian Homes & Family Services.
"Birth mothers placing their baby up for adoption shouldn't be nervous. Christian Homes is going to take them in, love them and find their child a loving home with parents who will raise them in the way their birth mother wishes she could," Hanner said.
On Hanner's foot is a permanent reminder of the reality of her life. A tattoo reads, "There is no fear in love." When observers inquire about the phrase, Hanner shares with them how adopted children feel about adoption and their families. Often times, adopted children don't understand why their birth mom would give them up.
"We love our adoptive families but there is always that doubt," Hanner said.
Hanner may be the exception to the rule on this one. You will never find her shying away from the topic of adoption or keeping her adoption a secret. She wants to tell everyone how cool adoption is, how heroic it is and how at the end of the day, she is the blessed one.
Comments
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interesting story on adoption, encouraging! I especially like Hanner’s enthusiasm for talking about adoption, we need more people like that around!
- jim
