Blog
Unlikely Friends
Posted by Shaylee Honey on November 09, 2010 at 6:51 am
When a birthmother shows up at Christian Homes maternity apartments, we never know what she'll bring with her. Some bring only the clothes they are wearing. Others bring a suitcase full. Some bring a bag of special memories with items like photos, scrapbooks, and letters from loved ones. Some bring another child. And with another child comes even more "stuff." And then there are those who bring "significant others." Sometimes it's the child's father. Sometimes it's a boyfriend.
Recently one of our birth mothers brought both her one-year old daughter plus her boyfriend. And since men can't live in the maternity apartments, this couple rented their own while awaiting the birth of her child.
I don't usually have a chance to meet and get to know those who occupy our maternity housing since I am out of town a lot and their stay with us is often short-lived. But I have become rather close to this "family."
Mark is Freda's (not real names) boyfriend and not the father of either of her children. He's had some tough times, growing up in a poor family in New Orleans, where he survived Katrina. He's also had trouble with the law and spent a few months in the Abilene jail for crimes committed elsewhere. Nonetheless, Mark is a good guy. He loves Freda, he loves Freda's child, and he wants to do right. After he was released from jail, he went back to his old job at a carwash and picked up where he left off. He started saving his money, opened bank accounts ("Both checking and saving," he announces proudly), and plans to open an IRA as soon as he can.
Mark is one of those guys you want to like. He has an infectious smile, laughs easily and loves to talk. It's not idle talk, either. He likes to talk about his plans and dreams, where he wants to go in life and how he plans to get there. He's being tutored in math so he can take his GED, which will open up new opportunities for this man who is not afraid to work. He and Freda want to become involved with a family of faith, feeling a renewed desire to know God better.
Friendship often means seeing beyond externals to the real person inside. It means accepting people where they are, looking past mistakes to what they can become. Friendship means finding the common interests, hopes and joys and building on those rather than differences. When we do that, a whole new world opens up that strengthens and brings life and hope to all concerned.
My new friends have talked about staying in Abilene once the baby is born and delivered to the care of its forever family. That would suit me just fine; I like them.
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